Analysis by Kyle A. Lohmeier
The term “knee-jerk liberal” has about gone the way of “mountebank” in common parlance, which is kind of sad. However, an Ohio state senator is doing all he can to bring the former term back into vogue. Democrat Cecil Thomas, is looking into whether or not Ohio law provides sufficient legal framework to punish someone criminally if they cause the death of an endangered animal via negligence. This is, of course, in response to the shooting death of a rare lowland gorilla by staff at the Cincinnati Zoo after a three-and-a-half-year-old child got inside its enclosure this past weekend and was about to be put through the American Tourister luggage test. If Ohio law is insufficiently broad and cumbersome, Thomas plans to introduce legislation to remedy that. Already, the potential proposed legislation has been dubbed “Harambe’s Law” in honor of the slain silverback.
This action is totally legit, because Thomas is responding to an online, change-dot-org petition started by a woman in Illinois who wants someone held responsible for the creature’s death.
“Thomas said his staff is investigating whether current law already covers the deaths of endangered animals. If not, he might draft a proposal to hold those people accountable either civilly or criminally,” wrote Jessie Balmert in the Cincinnati inquirer.
In order to provide proper journalistic balance, Balmert also got input from a sane Ohio politician.
“This is how we got to prisons overflowing. Life is not free of tragedies and accidents,” Balmert quoted Senator Bill Seitz, (R-Cincinnati) in the piece.
No, life isn’t. And, the instances where misfortune or tragedy befalls someone don’t always call for getting lawyers involved. In fact, those instances are actually somewhat rare and should be more so. When it comes to legal matters, I’m always reminded of Danny DeVito’s character in the classic 1991 film “Other People’s Money” and his take on lawyers. “They’re like nuclear warheads… once you use ‘em, they fuck everything up.”
If lawyers are standard nuclear warheads, then lawmakers are thermonuclear, multiple-megaton-rated hydrogen bombs so big that no one wins, relatively speaking.
As dumb as the entire idea for such a law is, it is the atmosphere that even allowed for it to ever sound like a good idea that is even dumber. Too much of our society has become entrenched in this notion of perennial victimhood. We can easily see it in the various college campus protests going on around the nation as I write this. People who are adults, nominally, holding protests over “micro-aggressions” and other imagined grievances. It has already become cliché to point out that everyone is offended by everything, but such actually is the case, and the fact I’m writing about a dead gorilla that sparked a change-dot-org petition is symptomatic of that.
I’ve been saying for years that the single biggest problem facing the human race is the inability of individuals to mind their own business. This problem is the root cause of terrorism, homophobia, racism, sexism, and the general busy-bodied-ness of so-called, self-styled “social justice warriors.” What possible business is it of a woman living in Illinois that a woman living in Ohio had her rather willful three-and-a-half-year old kid get away from her and climb into the gorilla’s enclosure? None. None at all. Not even if she is a retired zoo keeper who bottle-fed Harambe as a baby gorilla. Not even if she self-identifies as a lowland gorilla and is calling for justice for her fellow ape. In no way, on no planet is this matter any of her business. But, she’s convinced it is, so she took to change-dot-org. And, unable to leave a tragedy unexploited, particularly when there’s an opportunity to make government bigger and worse, a democrat lawmaker has taken up her cause. A change-dot-org petition is mostly harmless, a senator, however, is in position to actually craft and introduce legislation that can become binding law if passed by congress and signed by the governor – this makes senators a bit more dangerous than busybodies from the land of Lincoln.
Doubling down on the dumb, even Thomas’ own description of what his bill might do is idiotic. Again, he’s looking to “impose fines or criminal charges on anyone who causes the death of an endangered animal due to negligence,” according to Balmert’s article.
In today’s litigious society, the word “cause” is almost infinitely elastic. Did the zoo’s architect design a properly secure ape enclosure? Did the zoo’s staff maintain it adequately? Or, going forward in time a bit, who made the rifle used to shoot Harambe? Well, actually, the rifle didn’t kill him, it was the bullet, so who made that? Is Ohio going to attempt to hold, say, Hornaday or Speer responsible? Or, how about the kid himself? After all, if he hadn’t gotten inside the enclosure, Harambe would be alive. Well, he’s a minor and has no money, so, I guess we’ve got to blame the parents.
I mean, it can’t just be a tragedy. Someone has to be at fault, and that someone must be made to pay. It is this diseased mentality that is steadily screwing up our nation. And, as bad as some Gen-Xers who ought know better have this notion, it’s even more rampant among younger generations. So, buckle up, it’s all going to get worse.
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